Thursday, December 3, 2009

K.A.C. 2009 - T - 22 ...

Hi, kiddies! Wanna have some fun? ("YAY!") Wanna see Santa Claus? ("YAAAY!") How about playtime with Whizzo the Clown??? ("YAA ... ???") Now all YOU have to do is put on these circus animal costumes and perform at Whizzoland!!! (Insert sound of children sobbing here ...)

With those opening sentences burned into your consciousness, we proudly (?) present this year's entry into the Worst Christmas Film EVER Contest! WORSE than SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS, worse than the K. Gordon Murray Mexi-import SANTA CLAUS ... EVEN worse than last year's squeaker SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY comes ... SANTA'S CHRISTMAS CIRCUS!

HOW bad can it be, you ask? Rather than read MY Mangled Merriness, let's turn the honors over to the good folks at "An utterly bizarre concept yields an undoubtedly surreal experience. This film was more of a legend than a reality until the theatrical trailer turned up on Something Weird Video’s great Kiddie Matinee DVD for THE WONDERUL LAND OF OZ plus JACK AND THE BEANSTALK. Kansas City, Missouri Kiddie TV show host Whizzo the Clown (Frank Wizarde) stars in this regional Kiddie Matinee feature, which appears to be filmed entirely in a tiny TV studio set. The "Circus" animals appear to be small girls in dancing costumes. The film looks like nothing more than an expanded episode of the obviously claustrophobic TV show. Can this micro-budget wonder NOT be a classic badfilm? The film itself is among the missing, but from the trailer, it appears that the whole film is shot on a tiny TV set, and the "Circus" may be nothing more than mechanical Holiday window displays shot close-up!" I know, you're SAD that you can't see this classic for yourself ... I feel your pain. But all is not lost, kiddies! Take a look at the eye-searing trailer for what you WOULD have been exposed to!

SEE??? Let's all consider the fact that the full feature is lost to the Sands of Time an early Christmas present, what do you say? I thought you'd see it my way!


OK, campers, put it behind you - suck it up on those candy canes, and report back here tomorrow --- that's an order! :) Or would you rather spend MORE time at Whizzoland? ("NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! =:O )

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