K.A.C. 2025 - T - 18 Days ... [2004]

     Like what you're reading? Well, as Google mentions, 'Mark Zuckerberg launched "The Facebook" on February 4th [2004], initially as a social networking site for Harvard students.' And Gmail launched on the poorly thought out date of April 1st, leading many to believe it was a prank!    

      

     What was running loose at Christmastime was something considered by many to be even WORSE than a prank. Two words entered the lexicon that year: 'Uncanny Valley', courtesy of director Robert Zemeckis and star Tom Hanks in the film The Polar Express. The effect, described as 'a hypothesized psychological and aesthetic relation between an object's degree of resemblance to a human being and the emotional response to the object.' (Wikipedia) Or, to put it more simply, it looks human, it sounds human, but it is most definitely giving off NON-HUMAN vibes! Before we continue, pause and take a look at the trailer to get an idea of what was unleashed on innocent children and unsuspecting parents this year:

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0oyHtZiJJs 

     While it was a theatrical hit, the critics savaged the look of the film - here's an 'uncanny' smattering of their thoughts: 'Peter Travers of Rolling Stone gave the film 1 star out of 4, and called it "a failed and lifeless experiment in which everything goes wrong". Stephanie Zacharek of Salon gave the film 1.5 stars out of 5 and said, "I could probably have tolerated the incessant jitteriness of The Polar Express if the look of it didn't give me the creeps." Geoff Pevere of the Toronto Star stated, "If I were a child, I'd have nightmares. Come to think of it, I did anyway." Paul Clinton from CNN called it "at best disconcerting, and at worst, a wee bit horrifying". (Wikipedia)

      Our son was 7 at the time this came out and I remember going whole hog to see this holiday special, in IMAX and 3D, and horrifying only STARTS to describe it. You know SOMETHING is off, but you're not sure what ... and the gnawing horror grows on you as it chugs along. The best way I can describe it is like watching Mannequin Theater - and did I mention I get SKEEVED OUT by mannequins? It says something that I don't think anyone in our family sat down to watch it again! 

     

     I was trying to find something online to give readers the same frisson, and while nothing can match the original (thank the Gods), this little ditty from 1981, Hokey Cokey by 'The Snowmen' will be coming back to visit you around 3AM for many nights to come - an ear(and BRAIN)worm for you to spring on other unsuspecting souls!

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzQ9K7-J_PM 

     And with that, our mission is done for another day. See you tomorrow!

      
 

K.A.C. 2025 - T - 19 Days ... [2003]

 

     Yesterday we featured our buddy Krampus, who would be bad enough for a Mall Santa - now add a dyslexic holiday Mall Santa organizer, a certain someone who invented those DAMNED fax machines, and it's easy to admit you may have made a mistake here. Take a hilarious gander at this clip from Wellington Paranormal to see who you WON'T be seeing this year!

     https://www.facebook.com/watch?v=32605942462353694 

           

      2003 was another year without much of note, Christmas-wise. As a matter of fact, as I've been researching these articles over the years, I found quite a few strange 'vintage' items from years past, but as we get closer and closer to the present, the items get fewer and fewer. It's interesting to see the shift and there are plenty of theories why. I believe the main reason is that the post-9/11 world was a very different creature in America and a great deal of the innocence and joy of the season had taken a massive hit and never fully recovered. Also, the economy and job market worsened and people were cutting back and saving wherever they could and this included the holidays ... or as I once heard someone say, "Nostalgia ain't what it used to be." Sad, but true. To have seen almost seven decades of Christmases come and go and to reflect upon their ups and downs is a rather sobering experience. 

 That being said, we're not Debbie Downers here, so let's offer you instead a Retro 2003 Christmas double feature you can spring upon your unsuspecting family and friends that May of May NOT go well together! This was the year of both BAD SANTA and ELF. Get them in the cheerful mood with Will Ferrell first, then send the kids out to play and drop Billy Bob Thornton's 'Wonderful Life' on unsuspecting folks who've never seen it!

       Switching gears (again), we've written before in these pages about Thomas Nast (September 27, 1840 – December 7, 1902), who was a prolific political cartoonist who gave Americans their earliest visual version of Santa Claus, which was changed and adapted over the years to the Jolly Old Elf we know today. Here's my original write-up about him and Mr. C from a 2013 CC article:

     http://www.conjurecinema.com/2013/12/kac-2013-t-16.html 

     I mention this because with all of his voluminous artwork for Harper's Weekly and the like, Santa Claus is what Nast is best remembered for now. A link I was following recently showed what he was actually known for by his peers, as his art was powerful and hard hitting, getting his point vividly across in just one incredibly detailed picture, showing future political cartoonists how it should be done. Case in point: 'Why He Cannot Sleep' from 1866, which, as Julia A. Baller relates "depicts Jefferson Davis being haunted by ghosts of Union soldiers, symbolizing the former Confederate president's guilt and the consequences of his actions during the Civil War. The sleepless figure is tormented by skeletal apparitions pointing to his skull and a gallows, while a tattered flag and fresh graves in the background represent the cost of the war and his failed leadership." Click on the picture to see it in amazing detail. In its own grim way, it gives off Scrooge-like ghostly visitation vibes, with (unfortunately) no redemption at the end.

     

     It happens every time. I try to find something to bring holiday cheer to these pages, but as soon as my writing muses get a sniff of things turning dark, they're ALL IN! :) So we're going to let them have their way today and will end this entry with some lovely (well, 'Love-Craft-y') holiday poetry written by HPL and first published in the December 1926 issue of Weird Tales. Break this out with the eggnog (mind the tentacles!) and give it a rousing rendition at YOUR office party to boggle the mind ... and clear the room!

     Back tomorrow with more! 

K.A.C. 2025 - T - 20 Days ... [2002]

   

     Sorry, he's starting without you. Spanning the globe for juvies to go in the sack builds up an appetite! Do yourself a favor and DON'T reach over to his side of the table for a helping ... our boy Krampus isn't much of a sharer!

 

      If you're unfamiliar with this charmer (and I'd find that very hard to believe if you're a longtime reader of this blog!), allow me to introduce you to Krampus, Santa's go-to 'enforcer' for those recalcitrants who were given warnings All Year by their exasperated parents what happens to bad boys and girls this time of the year - Into the Bag, kids!

     For a quick refresher, take a gander at host Dr. Emily Zarka's PBS blog, Monstrum, which gives a nice concise history and a look at vintage Krampus postcards!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuSrajd9D8k

     Amongst all your Christmas cooking and baking, do you have a recipe calling for tomatoes? And do you wonder just WHY they're scarce this time of year? The answer is not what you think - behold the gory glory that is the 'Tomatina' Festival in Buñol, Spain. What began as a food fight among tomato enthusiasts in 1945 became an annual knockdown, drag-out Festival which grew and grew over time until, in 2002, it was recognized as 'Fiesta of International Tourist interest'. During this year, over 120 tons (!) of tomatoes were thrown. As The Odd Truth reported: "In an hour-long frenzy, the small town's central street was transformed into a blur of flying fruit as Spaniards and visitors from around the globe hurled tomatoes and cavorted in the shin-deep pools of puree which give the "Tomatina" its name."

 

      Want to read more from someone at Ground Zero? Then read 'How To Survive La Tomatina Festival, Buñol Spain' below! 

 

 

     https://theflipsidetravels.com/home/2019/6/9/how-to-survive-tomatina#:~:text=In%202002%20the%20festival%20was%20recognized%20as,its%20overwhelming%20success%2C%20and%20for%20good%20reason! 

      And before we leave, here's the answers to yesterday's Kringle's Khristmas Kuties Kwiz!

    - 1. Britney Spears

    - 2. Stephen King

    - 3. Bruce Willis

    - 4. Cameron Diaz

    - 5. Oprah Winfrey

    - 6. Elton John

    - 7. Megan Markle (NOT Jennifer Lopez, as I had her listed originally). Thanks to sharp-eyed contestants Donna and Jennifer - you get to step OUT of Krampus' Switch Line ... of course that means I get to GET in! :( What's that, K? For ME, FRONT OF THE LINE! *sniff* 

 

     Back tomorrow with more (as soon we get all this pureed tomato off - hey, why is Krampus sniffing the air and looking this way? Steady, boy, steady ...).

K.A.C. 2025 - T - 21 Days ... [2002]

     This is what we get for leaving our new intern to take care of today's post. We were wondering where he was and went to check on him ... and this is the result. Le sigh ...

     Well, he's a good fella and works cheap, so we'll leave him wrapped up in his business and instead will plunge on ahead on our own. Surprisingly there's not much to talk about, weird Christmas-wise, for the year 2002. So this might be a good time to haul out this year's Kringle's Khristmas Kuties Kwiz. In keeping with our yearly format, this year's 7 lucky entrants all come Forbes' Top 100 Celebrities List for the year and NO, you can't pause here and run over to see who's on it - that's as bad as opening your gifts before Christmas! We run on the honor system here - no cheating! Ready? Set? GO!    

 

 # 1

# 2

 

 

 

 

      

# 4

# 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    # 5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     

    # 6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    # 7

 

Answers tomorrow! 

 

 

 

 

K.A.C. 2025 - T - 22 Days ... [2001]

     Welcome to 2001 and a trio of kids who are NOT following the Life Magazine Creed from a few days ago in famed animator Bill Plympton's Cartoon Network Christmas Special entitled '12 tiny Christmas tales' - Conjure Cinema Cinephiles are well aware of our fondness for Bill's work, as we've featured him extensively over the years, but we never showed this! Consider it our gift to you this year - it's our new favorite, with such characters as Victor the Tree, The Killer Snowflake and The Boy Who Loved Christmas. These tales were "inspired by Christmas cards that Plympton began drawing for his parents in 1964". (Wikipedia) 

     STOP what you're doing and take a look at this hilarious holiday short NOW! 

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93kmhTdIeuE 

       

     Switching gears entirely, we all know what the major tragic story of 2001 was: the 9/11 attacks. I have a good friend who was at Ground Zero when it happened, who thankfully escaped and survived, and her tale is harrowing. In an uncannily eerie bit of synchonicity, the first Spider-Man film with Tobey Maguire was going to premiere on May 3rd, 2002 and advance posters were up everywhere for it - at the time I had a massive vinyl banner of this image, with the wall crawler's 'Spidey Sense' going off as he looks at ... The Twin Towers. They were also featured prominently in the first teaser trailer for the film, which you can see below. Once 9/11 happened, all of the advance promo material for the film was recalled and scrapped, and a whole new campaign begun. 

     That's a LONG introduction to our next link (via Buzzfeed) of '23 Wild and Newsworthy Events That Happened in 2001 But Were Forgotten Because Of 9/11':

     https://www.buzzfeed.com/briangalindo/2001-events-that-9-11-made-us-forget

      .., and, as promised, the original Spider-Man 2001 theatrical teaser trailer:

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPL7UWN_hcM 

 

     There's no good way to seque from that, so I'm not going to even try. I WILL link you in to this financial chestnut which I heard this morning driving in (from the UK Sun):

 Eye-watering sum Mariah Carey makes from her iconic Christmas song every year revealed

     https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/37490073/mariah-carey-christmas-song-earning-revealed/ 

     All you have to do is READ the link, not listen to it! Back tomorrow with more.      

K.A.C. 2025 - T - 23 Days ... [2000]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     Continuing with the 1891 Christmas issue of LIFE, we have this borderline bawdy, almost odalisque-like centerfold entitled 'A Gift For The Stocking', leaving one and all curious as to what that particular present could possible be - perfume for Milady? A new brush or hand mirror? MORE stockings in the stocking? The cunning cherub knows, but he's not telling.

     

     Perhaps she's having a dream of the future ... or maybe more of a nightmare if she's espying 'The 20 Worst 2000s Kid Toys [And 10 That Are Surprisingly Rare], with everything from Heelys to Zhu Zhu Pets and beyond. Thankfully we only had to suffer through # 1 in our house. Take a look!

     https://www.thegamer.com/2000s-kids-toys-worst-rare/

 

     

       2000 was also the year the live-action film version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas arrived, and it is the DEFINITION of a 'difficult shoot'. How difficult, you ask? Take a peek at the article below from Mental Floss, '20 Facts About Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas':   

     https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/638799/jim-carrey-how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-movie-facts 

 

      Finally, who WOULDN'T want a million dollars for Christmas? Think carefully before you answer, as in 2000, THIS is what you had to do for it! As Google tells it: "In the year 2000, a nationwide contest called "Million Dollar Roach" was held by pest control companies to release 350 barcoded cockroaches, with one roach worth $1 million. 

• The prize: One roach was worth a grand prize of $1 million, payable at $25,000 a year for 40 years. Other prizes included 14 new Volkswagen "Bugs" and various cash prizes. 
• The roaches: 350 roaches were released nationwide with microscopic barcodes on their backs, visible only under a UV light. A roach with any barcode was worth at least $100.
• The rules: Participants could submit one roach per household by June 30, 2000, to a participating exterminator. The roach had to be native and unmodified.
• The outcome: The million-dollar roach was never found, but other prizes were claimed."   Which means IT'S STILL OUT THERE ... Merry Christmas!  
•  
•  
• Back tomorrow with a look at 2001 ... 'I'm sorry, Dave, I don't know WHERE the Million Dollar Cockroach is - have you tried your shoe?"

       
 

Welcome to the Kitschmas Advent Calendar 2025 !!!

 

     Welcome to the Kitschmas Advent Calendar 2025 !!! T - 24 Days ... and Counting !!! Our 134th year, if we had started when the Christmas Number of LIFE magazine to our left was published in 1891 - well, we've not been doing this QUITE that long. No, we begin Year 17 with our 24-day countdown of the weirder side of Christmas - oddball ornaments, curious cards, frightful food and all the other out-of-left-field items that can make this holiday TRULY memorable, and not in a good way! :)

     Speaking of the LIFE issue at left, I'm struck not only by the artwork for the Christmas Creed, but also by the less than subtle message being sent here for young tykes sitting on Mom or Dad's lap as they read instructions on 'hereby being enjoined to be obsequiously obedient and subservient to those placed in authority over them'; the old fancy version of 'BE GOOD if you want Santa to stop by'! 

     We've been doing a yearly timetable look back at years past and ended last year at 1998, so let's pick up that candy cane baton and finish off the decade with what was going on in 1999.

     The year had a certain hush worldwide, not brought about by snow or the merriment of the season; brought about by the possibility of ALL computers and programs going kaput thanks to the dreaded Y2K virus as '99 turned over to 2000. Thankfully it was all a massive false alarm, but there was still trouble afoot that year, such as:  

     Exhibit A: Two letters that parents and others came to curse - TY - as in the makers of Beanie Babies. The tiny stuffed animals of all kinds (teddy bears, dogs, cats, etc.) were introduced in 1993 and the craze for them grew larger and larger, leading to this, as quoted from Tobias Carroll's article 'The Beanie Baby Craze Was Far Worse Than You Remember': "Thursday, June 3, 1999, was a weird day for commuting Atlantans. Coca-Cola and Delta Air Lines workers returning to their suburban Atlanta homes after a day at the office were in for a surprise. A truck carrying mini Beanie Babies spilled merchandise across five lanes of Interstate 285 during rush hour. Because the Beanies were so momentarily valuable, motorists risked their lives to nab them off the interstate." 

      And that's just the beginning. To read the entire article of just HOW out of control things got, click here: 

     https://www.insidehook.com/books/beanie-baby-craze-1999-ross-benes-book 

 

          Turning to the past (WAY past), if you're looking for some holiday reading of a different nature this year, may we recommend Sarah Clegg's The Dead of Winter, featuring the historical and folkloric traditions, from ancient times to today, of our mascot Krampus, as well as the 'post-equine' charmer Mari Lwyd (who's been featured in our past blogs) and more!

     It's a fascinating read AND (you knew there would be an 'and', right?) it just so happens Dr. Clegg will be having an online Zoom event three days from now, on December 4th, to tell tales of tracking them down and more. As the site says: 

      'This talk will examine both the origins of these dark Christmas customs, and how they’ve changed and shifted down through the centuries

The Ghosts of Christmas Past

Christmas might seem like a time of jollity and cheer, but underneath all the tinsel and fairy lights there’s a far darker mood – one we see expressed in our modern custom of telling ghost stories at Christmas, in monsters like the Krampus, which roam the streets of European towns and cities across the Christmas season, and the horrible horse-skulled monster the Mari Lwyd who appears across Wales in the darkest nights of the year.

This talk will examine both the origins of these dark Christmas customs, and how they’ve changed and shifted down through the centuries – following everything from the hierarchy shredding Roman festival of Saturnalia to the custom of dressing as a monster and going house-to-house demanding drinks, food and money (the origins of modern Halloween trick-or-treating), and even the Christmas witches, who were said to riot through the skies with bands of the dead over the midwinter.'

Tickets are still available (I've got mine!), but you'll need to hurry - link below: 

      https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-ghosts-of-christmas-past-sarah-clegg-zoom-tickets-1850635122469?aff=ebemoffollowpublishemail&ref=eemail&utm_campaign=following_published_event&utm_content=follow_notification&utm_medium=email&utm_source=eventbrite 

 

     Moving up to the present (AND should you still be LOOKING for a present), consider the item on the right. We have a long-standing tradition in our house of every Christmas Eve watching a different version of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. We've seen the good, the bad, the middlin', the insufferable and more. This year, we have a new option - why just WATCH the story unfold when you can be part of it and send Scrooge on his way via the 'cooperative card game' called Spirits of Christmas? You take turns playing the different Spirits, making Ebenezer's Dark Night of the Soul that much more dark! Fun for the whole family (unless your name is Scrooge, then not so much ...) Intrigued? Click below!

 

     https://thehumblebard.com/pages/spirits-of-christmas  

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      And with that, we're up and running. Join us tomorrow for more, as we see what the year 2000 had for us in store (and stores)!