Wednesday, December 13, 2017
K.A.C. 2017 - T - 12 ...
Speaking of all things dead causing a ruckus this holiday season, let's get in the old puddle jumper and see what havoc is going down in the UK. It never fails ... if I wait long enough, the Sun or one of the other tabloids comes out with story after story of fly-by-night holiday 'grottos' (think 'Santa's Enchanted Village' over here) that are done on the cheap to bring in the rubes and rack up the holiday pelf - stick up a few cardboard cutouts in an empty field, add some scruffy, mange-eaten reindeer, perhaps a slovenly Santa and you're good to go! And then it all goes wrong.
Such as? Consider if you will (he said in his best Rod Serling voice) the case of the Racked-Up Rudolph. The Mall in Maidenstone, Kent, had this plastic reindeer head mounted on the wall as children waited in line to visit Santa, causing one six-year-old boy to go into hysterics thinking Santa had killed Rudolph! The Mall quickly removed Rudolph, the Dead-Nosed Reindeer, but the best part is the other parent's reaction to all this, including this classic comeback line:
“No wonder kids are growing up in a namby-pamby society if one complaint gets a plastic reindeer head taken down.” To read how this whole Holiday Horror Show went down, click here:
Too traumatic for your tyke? Not a problem, take him outside to see a Christmas parade instead! What could POSSIBLY go wrong? Ummm, well, when the headline reads 'Hamley's Christmas Toy Parade a 'shocking shambles' as kids get crushed and parents fight for a better view of Peppa Pig', you KNOW you're in trouble - read on!
OK, one last chance, you say. The Mall was a disaster, the parade was worse ... let's scrap this whole mess and head out to Sheffield - they've got a new holiday attraction called Santa's Reindeer Puppet Parade - it's puppets, right? They're not scary! EVERYBODY LOVES PUPPETS! Uh, oh ... read it and weep!
Breaking News! Minutes after I posted today's page, comes news of yet ANOTHER Winter Wonderland disaster - read all about 'Santa's Mudbath' here!
Coming Tomorrow: Even MORE Christmas Food Fails and some late-breaking surprises! Hurry back and see!
Posted by Conjure Cinema Curator at 5:28 AM
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