Sunday, December 17, 2017
K.A.C. 2017 - T - 8 ...
One thing you've got to hand it to about ol' SC - he makes sure NOBODY gets forgotten come Christmastime and that EVERYBODY gets a present! What's that, Kong, old buddy? A Fay Wray doll? Yeah, you deserve it, ya big galoot!
Today is Reader Submission Day, where we highlight items and pictures you've sent us over the past month, and this year's crop is a pretty excellent one, so let's dig in, shall we?
First up (from Gi Marie) is nine pages of Epic Christmas Fails - I debated holding on to these and parceling them out over the years, but more and more keeps falling into my lap all the time and that seemed stingy - plus these bears were giving me the eye! Wallow on in and behold the Holiday Horror!
I found this next piece and put it aside for a future article, then friends mailed it to me as well, so here you go. The one piece of holiday tradition I've never covered (yet) is the whole Elf On The Shelf phenomenon that a number of parents put their tykes through each year, to make sure they're 'good for Santa'. I've seen simple elf arrangements and elaborate nightly rituals to see what Mr. Elf has gotten up to when everyone's asleep. I've also seen the blowback from angry people who've had it up to HERE with this pesky interloper and aren't going to take it anymore! Well, in this technological age, if you don't have the time for the nightly Elf scenarios, may we recommend this handy time-saver ... the Elf Dummy Child Surveillance Camera! Now you and your family can go all '1984' and have Mr. Elf report your child's bad behavior back to Big Brother (you know who we mean) instantly! Not only that, it also comes with 'Official Elf Reports', printouts to give to your kid that he or she has been naughty or nice ... the perfect Police State Christmas before they're shipped off for bad behavior! All set to traumatize the tykes? Then here you go!
The jaw-dropping STAR of today's stories comes from my son Justin ... so this is on him! Christmas is also a time for love ... and weddings. For romance ... and weddings. For obsession ... and weddings. What's wrong with all that, you ask? May we present Ms. Amanda Liberty, a Leeds woman celebrating her engagement to Lumiere ... a 90-YEAR-OLD CHANDELIER! If we were giving out awards for the strangest story we've covered this year, this would be our winner! Gird your loins for this one - read on!
Hey, you say, that last story really wasn't PC! Rather than apologize, just to make sure no one is offended for any reason, please read and follow these guidelines for a PC Christmas!
Coming Tomorrow: We hit the one-week mark with the annual return visit of three of our best (if tiny) friends, plus ANOTHER earwig that we featured years ago on this page ... and more surprises! Join us!