Sunday, December 9, 2018

K.A.C. 2018 - T - 16 ...

     Good morning! We're all geared up for another fine day here at the K.A.C. and today we're featuring one of my favorite annual topics - a look at Christmas Fails! Yes sir, a LOOK ... at ... ummm, well, that is ... we WOULD be looking at it ... if our REINDEER didn't have their ANTLERS COMING OUT OF THEIR EYES !!!

      The SUN (UK) has found a particularly good crop of Fails this year, from Elf Hands and Cruella De Vil (?) climbing out of ladies' crotches (just let that sink in for a moment) to Unfortunately Named Wine to a horror-filled child's mirror (that I'm particularly not fond of) to Nipple Wreaths (yes, you read that right) ... just the thing for the Holiday Party, or Grandma Joan! These are MUCH MORE can be found at the link below:

       You're going to need something to WRAP these monstrosities in, right? Not to worry, we've got you covered there, as well - with colorful AND stinky Jimmy Dean Sausage Wrapping Paper! Just THINK what you're living room is going to smell like after this sits under your tree all night ... it'll get rid of that pesky pine tree scent once and for all! But there's a catch - to get this 'special' paper, you have to submit a recipe - read more here! 

     But Christmas Fails don't ALL have to come in a box, tied with stinky wrapping! Consider the case of  Lady Lumley's School in Pickering, North Yorkshire, who decided not only to BAN Christmas altogether, saying it had become too commercialized and that students had forgotten the true meaning of Christmas, but also to give students DETENTION if they were found celebrating! And the salt in this particularly Grinchy wound? The notice of X-ing Christmas was delivered by Father Christmas himself! Read all about it here ...

     ... but wait for it ... can you guess the followup to this story? Try outraged parents going on social media and SHAMING the school so badly that they received over 500 letters (and perhaps someone with a bell, shouting, "SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!") for their actions ... so badly, in fact, that the school had to REINSTATE Christmas festivities and squirm like the proverbial worm on the hook, calling it all a "learning moment". Read this bit of humble pie below:

     Let's stay with the school theme here, as we save our best Christmas Fail for last. Closely observe the picture at right and consider the lack of wisdom used by one primary school teacher who thought it would be fun and informative to set up an 'Elf Murder Scenario' for her students to solve - take a moment and read that again, then click on the link to see even more amazing photos and read all about the Ultimate Christmas Fail of 2018, also known as FRIGHT CHRISTMAS!

     FRIGHT CHRISTMAS Furious parents say kids ‘traumatised’ after primary school staged elf murder scene complete with fake blood


     Coming Tomorrow: While not impossible to top this batch of stories, we'll give it our best shot with our annual look at horrible Christmas Jumpers (that's sweaters to you) and more!

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