Thursday, December 15, 2016

K.A.C. 2016 - T - 10 ...

     Ten days to go! Our Creepy Victorian Christmas card today features our second of two goat cards, this one with the words "I have come to greet you" - from the look on this unfortunate kid's face, it may be more "I have come to EAT you!" But, yes, this WAS an actual Christmas card and it leads us to today's topic ... since goats are known to eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, it's time to throw ALL our miscellaneous items up on one page for our Christmas Potpourri! Let's dig in!

     First up, with only ten days to go, you may feel that familiar sense of panic creeping in as you realize you haven't even STARTED your holiday shopping yet! What to do, what to do? Well, there's always Amazon - what the heck, they've already done all the shopping for you - just order everything here and have them ship it randomly to people on your list - you don't even need to LOOK at the items! Hey, trust us, what could possibly go wrong? All right, if you MUST look at what you're buying, here ... but it won't be a surprise!

      What do you mean half of those things are OFFENSIVE? All right, all right, calm down ... here, show your loved ones you care with some presents imported from England. Don't look at me like that - these are the real deal! Come on, who WOULDN'T like "Mulled Spiced Loo Roll" toilet paper! Oh, there's more ...


     You're going to need something to balance out the scent of your 'mulled spiced butt' walking all over the house --- and this may be just the thing! The KFC Original Recipe Flavored Candle - that's right, your WHOLE HOUSE can now smell like greasy fried chicken ... with one small catch. It was only made as a marketing promo ploy for stores in New Zealand, so you probably dodged a (stinky) bullet there! 

     Sorry, you're stuck with a stinky spice butt - I know what, let's take people's attention off you and guide it over to your tree! Now if you were smart and grabbed all those ornaments, tree toppers and Hipster Nativity sets from our earlier post, folks are already staring at it in disbelief. However, as happens every year, just when you think you're DONE decorating the tree, there's always that ONE SPOT you missed! Not to worry, we've got that covered, too, and with an ornament that's fiendish in its simplicity and one that I'm amazed hasn't been marketed before now - the PHANTASM Sentinel Sphere Ornament! Remember what I said earlier about each ornament is supposed to tell a story? Just THINK of what you can tell the kids and grandkids about THIS one! BOYYYYYYYYYY !!!!
Want one of your own? Here you go - but, be careful - they're sharp ... and you might want to think twice about getting up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night!

     Coming Tomorrow: By Royal Decree, it's National Christmas Jumper Day ... no, really! Read all about it and more strange things going on in London for the holidays!

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