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K.A.C. 2016 - T - 3 ...
This Gloomy Gus is a damn fine reproduction of your humble Conjure Cinema Curator every winter when the snow hits ... HATE IT! That's about as "merry" as I get with this weather, with this winter being no exception as I came down with a whopping cold two weeks out from Christmas and am only now on the last dregs of it.
Which is a PERFECT lead-in for today's feature: people who have Had It With the Holidays - those lads and lasses who tried to put a brave face on it for family and friends, but who felt their resolve chipping away a piece at a time and have now thrown all caution to the wind.
First up, the a cappella group Straight No Chaser entertains us with "Nutcracker" - and what a lot of folks are truly thinking when this yearly event draws nigh!
If you consider that weak sauce and want something MUCH stronger to vent your Wreath Wrath on, our next item is tailor-made for you! Best of all, it stars our very own Conjure Cinema mascot William Shatner (NOT to be confused with our K.A.C. mascot, Krampus - but guess what? They're BOTH in it!) - A Christmas Horror Story is currently making the rounds on Netflix and is just the thing when the shopping is done, the meals are all eaten and the food coma is setting in. An anthology film reminiscent of the old EC entries TALES FROM THE CRYPT and THE VAULT OF HORROR, it features four stories, ranging from Santa battling a horde of undead, infectious zombie elves, to a typical unloving family running afoul of Krampus, to a family who ignores the signs and local legends to stay off forbidden grounds and trespass to cut down their own Christmas tree ... and the horrible price they pay, to a fourth (and by far weakest) story of a high school camera crew investigating some fellow student's mysterious deaths on Christmas Eve at their locked-up school. Shatner provides the framing narrative as a radio disc jockey getting more and more in his cups during the countdown to the Big Day, trying to get people in the mood when most of them want nothing to do with him or the holiday. The ending has a final battle between Santa and Krampus with an extremely clever ending that I did NOT see coming! A bit of a gorefest in parts, so be warned, but a well-done independent Canadian feature worth a look!
Want to move your guests along, get people out of the house and get some peace and quiet? Well, you COULD throw a drunken tantrum and cause a lot of hard feelings all around or you could let your TREE take care of them for you! How? Simple, just put a LIVE SNAKE up as one of your decorations ... think I'm making that up? Read on!
And if the Live Snake in the tree STILL isn't giving people the hint that you've HAD IT with the holiday this year, then borrow a page from Dickens and turn your ENTIRE TREE into MARLEY'S GHOST ... THAT should do it! :)
Coming Tomorrow: We're two days away from wrapping up the K.A.C. for another year - tomorrow features as many of our last-minute stories as we can cram in one post and we end the year with our annual Christmas Ghost Story selection - join us, won't you?
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