Sunday, December 11, 2016

K.A.C. 2016 - T - 14 ...

    "I've got SIX 'Ho Ho Ho's' for you boys and girls ... and they're all cylindrical and nickel-plated!" Ummm ... we're going to give Santa a moment or two to calm down and possibly re-think his life choices here (and wonder WHO would put that on a card) ... now WHAT could have possibly set 'ol Kringle off like this? The answer MAY be found below!

     It's that time of year again, boys and girls! Time to make your lists, check them twice and head out to the mall to stand in line to tell Santa what you w ... hmm, on second thought, you know what? Toys are over rated ... I think what you REALLY want is to see another dawn, am I right? That's not a guarantee when you brave the lap of THESE Not-So-Jolly-Old-Elves! Take a look at the '100 Sketchiest Santa's Lap Photos Ever' - it's a good mix: some you've seen before if you've followed our pages over the years and some new and even MORE terrifying entries! 

        Hey, as bad as they are, at least THOSE Santas showed up! Let's hop across 'The Pond' and take a look at not one, but TWO disastrous 'Winter Wonderlands' going belly-up in England. First up is THIS mudhole in Derbyshire - imagine getting your tickets in advance, getting in the car with the kids who are all excited to see Santa and reindeers, go on all the rides, see the lights, eat the junk food, etc. ... and when you get there, THIS is what you see! The Telegraph (UK) of November 20th has the whole story: with a headline that reads 'Winter Wonderland attraction branded a 'rip off' and 'shambles' after there was no Santa', you KNOW it's going to be good (in a Schadenfreude sort of way) - read all about it below!

     But wait, there's more! Here's the follow-up story on the 'festive' Winter Wonderland, including the teary story of the little girl who said, "I don't want to see Santa again" - 'Moment girl, 2, is left close to tears at Bakewell Winter Wonderland after waiting for two hours to see Father Christmas in freezing mud'.

     OK, anyone can have a bad day. You complain about the absolute grottiness of the whole affair and maybe (maybe) get your money back. You promise your crying tykes that you'll take them to Cumbria for a REAL 'Winter Wonderland' tomorrow instead. Once again, you buy the advance tickets, bundle your slightly traumatized kids into the car and head out. It CAN'T happen to you TWICE in one year, can it? Ahem ... allow me to quote the Sun (UK) headline of November 21st ... only ONE day later than the above story: 'WE HAD MORE FUN WALKING HOME' Inside Cumbria's 'winter wonderland' where the ice rink flooded and Santa was sacked for SMOKING'. The sub-header is even better: 'Families say they queued for over one-and-a-half hours to see 'scary' Father Christmas in an inflatable grotto' - for the full story, click here!

     I actually was patiently WAITING for this story to hit - it seems this happens nearly EVERY YEAR in England - and yet the desperate parents keep going back, time after time, hoping for the best and expecting the worst. We've covered a number of these Santa Shenanigans over the ages here at the K.A.C. and we're always on the lookout for more - keep 'em coming, England! 


     Coming Tomorrow: What better way to follow up today's article that with our annual look at Christmas Food Fails? Gird your (pork) loins for this one!

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